Omnomicon

I am still not a vegetarian. Nope. Here’s one of the manifold reasons why.

I try pretty hard to feature original ideas for my food, and the cost is a lot of failure. Buckets of the stuff. Ugh. And as I move away from tried and true recipes toward completely new ones, it gets harder and harder to have a backlog of material if something doesn’t work out. This, coupled with my procrastinatorial nature, leads to a lot of fruitless nights.

Let’s discuss food philosophy a moment. Tastiness is tantamount. That’s one quality I can never bring myself to sacrifice. But the economist in me is always trying to balance out two other priorities: cool factor, calorie control & time to cook. Okay, three other priorities. Anyway, back to my point, sometimes something really REALLY satisfying and light doesn’t look like much of anything, and it’s worth it, because, well, it’s really REALLY tasty and hello skinny (like my homely Shrimp Surf ‘n Bake). Other times it’s just too heavenly NOT to share, and I cite as evidence the most amazing food Crisco can make (spoiler: it’s whoopie pies).

My recent neglect of calorie control has manifested itself in the form of an additional five solid pounds, a development that in itself is not a big deal, but I find that five pounds quickly becomes 40 for me, so my attention is important. To that end, I tried to return to my weight watching roots and had this great reinterpretation of Huevos Rancheros. I have exactly one problem with this recipe, and it makes it such that this will never work: eggs take for-freakin-EVER too bake inside a tomato. Forever. After 50 minutes of baking, the egg white was woefully inedible. I can’t justify spending any more time baking something just because it’s a neat way to do it.

I’ll admit that this photo really looks quite tasty. And I’m sure it would be, too, if it didn’t so cavalierly scoff at safe food handling practices. It’s tough to illustrate the slimy clear uncooked egg white smeared all over this dish, but I assure you it’s there.

 

This cake pan, where I threw all the salmonella-laden refuse, shows a clearer picture of the dinner’s inedibility.

There might be some merit to cooking the salsa properly, then frying an egg and serving it in a roasted tomato shell like that, but I felt the tomato flavour was just way too pronounced and difficult to overcome with what I threw into the salsa there. I did try making a tomato tube (instead of a tomato cup), throwing the egg at the bottom and salsa on top, but after 30 minutes it became clear that the egg white was rising and doing its whole “stubbornly not cooking” thing.

So that’s what I did last night. All I have to offer in terms of actionable food is not so much a recipe as it is an idea: fruited oatmeal is never as sweet as it should be and always seems to require additional sugar to balance the tartness. So I made a mango puree—one mango seems to do it for about 1 cup dried oatmeal, or four servings. I’ve dubbed it “Mangoatmeal,” because it’s vegan and I wanted to give it a name that made it sound decidedly non-vegan and even possibly cannibalistic. Also, because that was just the most obvious portmanteau.

Some visual notes.

Hopefully this weekend I will be cooking up a storm so I have something to report other than “my cooking skills cannot keep up with my creativity.” I have to say, though, I actually find most of my failed creations to be quite amusing. They say you learn more from your failures, and it’s true. Luckily I’m also quite adept at laughing at my own folly; it genuinely amuses me. So no need for consolation. I got a good laugh and a good lesson out of this deal.

Hai guise!

So even though it’s not a breakfast food, guess what: I’m making chili with you today. It most certainly is a diner dish, and therefore not entirely out of line with that little theme I have going. A theme, I might add, that is probably only two weeks from expiry, as I’m not entirely sure I have clever little recipe tricks for the really good stuff on the menu, other than to buy the Heart Healthy variation of the usual pancake mix, which seems to amount to a smaller serving size on the label and some cellulose gum to add fake fiber. (Well, I guess the fiber is real, but it’s not exactly whole-anything).

Alright, first you need your BEP. What’s a BEP? Why, I’m so glad you asked!

It’s a BIG EFFIN POT! I was going to name it something a little more literal (think BFP), but I have been linked from other blogs with the caveat that the LANGUAGE on this WEBSITE is NOT AMUSING, and I’d hate to piss off anyone who has such kind and thoughtful things to say about my website. The more faint-of-heart might wish to refer to their BEP as a BOP, or BIG OLE POT. In addition to making for a far superior acronym, it’s also something you can share with your loving children. On a side note, BEPs are one of the most useful things you can have, if you don’t already. Verily, they are the LBDs of the kitchen.

In this case, the BEP is somehwat pivotal, as we have a fairly large amount of stuff that really wants to stain your walls/stovetop/white blouse/microwave, bubbling up as it simmers and you lean over to give it the occasional stir. So please, do yourself a favour and bust it out.

Alright, recipe time! I made generic labels for my canned goods because I always thought it was kind of stupid and funny and obvious when they did that in kids’ shows back in the day.

Also, you sadly can’t read it, but that salsa jar says “The party’s on, Wayne, I brought the SALSA!” That one was my favourite. =(

Now chop an onion. Press some garlic. Sautee in some oil. It took me a long time to learn this, so I offer this PSA for anyone who doesn’t already know: don’t press your garlic into the pan before you add the onion. You are begging for burnt, bitter-ass garlic that really does nothing good for your food. Press the garlic into your pile o’onions, and add both at the same time.

And knowing’s half the battle.

I swear, I could take a thousand pictures of onions and garlic sauteeing in a pan, and I would love every single one as though it were my own, real live baby. Nothing in the world smells better.

NEXT! Add some meat n stuff in there.

Unlike cooking onions and garlic, I have a feeling that providing a picture of raw ground meat is a lot like letting someone watch you put on pantyhose . . . it’s only sexy after it’s done, and only in the context of other *stuff*.

See now, that there, is totally like, after you’ve put on the pantyhose, but before your svelte little dress is on. BUT

There we go. We’re getting somewhere.

So this is a wonderful chili in its own right. It’s downright edible even if you have no intention of losing a single ounce, and, rather than being just low-calorie, is actually good for you! Loads of veggies, protein and fiber in there, nothing at all fake . . . and so completely undeniably filling. Seriously, a cup of this stuff is probably the most gut-busting cup of anything you can eat.

The recipe makes about 7 servings, but if you wanna bump it up to 8 for no detectable increase in calories, throw in a chopped pepper or another onion or something. These servings freeze well, but if you don’t have room in there for your entire Gladware collection, break up the monotony of leftovers by enjoying 2 Point Tacos! That’s right, this already-incredible chili makes one heckuva taco. Just add one regular taco shell to 1/4c of this stuff. Cheese and lettuce might be nice, but not necessary.

Mmmmm.

Turkey Taco Chili

1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1.25 lbs ground turkey (93/7 works best)
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp cumin (this is the secret to making the chili taste taco-like)
2 tsp salt
28oz can of diced or stewed tomatoes
14oz can of dark red kidney beans, rinsed (or any other red bean you have on hand)
3/4 c hot salsa

Heat up the oil over medium heat, then add onions, then garlic, and saute for a couple minutes. Add the turkey, chili powder, cumin and salt and break up the turkey with a scoop, until it is no longer pink. Add tomatoes, kidney beans and salsa, and bring to a boil over high heat. Let boil a minute, then reduce heat to medium/low and simmer for 10-15 minutes.

Nutrition info: 235 calories, 5g fiber, 8g fat; 4.5 Weight Watchers Points

Two Point Tacos
a subtle variation

Scoop 1/4c of the chili into a taco shell. Eat.

Nutrition info: 120 calories, 2g fiber, 5g fat; 2 Weight Watchers Points

Woo! More diner food. Get excited.

What I mean to say is “Get excited, you’re going to be one skinny bitch or dude!”

(Hey! Some of those menu items are clickable.)

Yum! The sausage is a *mite* time-consuming, but it’s delicious and easy to freezey. Here, lemme show you.

This called for a number of spices I don’t normally use, hence the unappealing array of unsightly jars. It even looks better on raw meat, somehow.

Since turkey comes in 1.25 lb packages, and since I haven’t tested the spice blend with that much turkey (I saved the extra quarter pound for a chili), I would say to use generous 1/2 tsps of the spices. Because we’re talking an extra 1/8 tsp, and my measuring spoons don’t even get that small. It’s about a pinch.

Now weigh out 1.1 oz patties. I know that’s kind of a weird size, but they were just the right size. If you don’t have a scale, divide your meat into about 12 parts. Ball up the meat, then pat it down, and stack between little squares of wax paper.

Now chill it for an hour. After the hour’s gone by, wrap whatever you aren’t going to use in saran wrap, then throw them in a freezer-safe bag in the freezer. To thaw later, microwave on high in two 10 second intervals, allowing a minute or so between nukings.

After the hour’s up, get a pan hot, then lay down a patty. Let it sit for a couple minutes, then flip. Let sit another couple minutes. Cut into one to be sure you’ve cooked all the way through (these should be rather thin, so if both sides look white, you’re probably all set).

And there you are! Money shot in a bit.

Now for the eggs. I love love LOVE egg substitute, and I use it anywhere I can get away with it. I don’t care what anyone says, for a scramble, these are fantastic. And oh so low calorie. I put a pinch of cayenne and probably a 1/4 tsp of garlic powder. Garlic powder is this amazing thing that you can put in fat free food to make it a thousand times more satisfying. You may have heard of it.

Next, some stuff to add a little fiber to your meal.

In addition to being delicious, these are lovely additions to your eggs. First you want to salt and pepper these . . . because they are particularly low-fat, the salt helps bring out a lot of otherwise neglected flavour. Sautee on medium-high for a few minutes, then set the burner to medium and lid it for another few minutes to let the broccoli get nice and tender.

Aaaaahhh!! Egg substunami!

Scramble it up in your awful pan that sticks to everything even when you use cooking spray.

You are perhaps thinking “But Aleta, I only like broccoli when its flavour is completely masked by cheese!” Have no fear, cheese-lover . . . there is such a thing as fat free shredded cheddar, and it goes on top of these eggs.

Now turn off the burner and, without moving your pan, lid it again to melt the cheese without burning the shit out of your eggs.

Mmmmmelty.

And that’s dinner.

Maple Turkey Sausage
adapted from a recipe by A Taste of Home

1.25 lbs ground light turkey
1 tbsp maple syrup
One generous half-teaspoon each:
salt
onion powder
dried sage
dried thyme
poultry seasoning
nutmeg
1/4 tsp cayenne powder (plus a pinch for the adventurous)

Mix the turkey with the spices and maple syrup. Pat into tight 1.1 oz patties (about 14 total). You want these pretty thin so they don’t have to cook for very long. Layer between squares of wax paper and chill in the fridge one hour.

No no, the turkey patties, not you. Get out of there.

Heat a nonstick pan to HOT, then cook each side of the patty 2-3 minutes. Cut into one to be sure that there’s no pink in the middle.

These freeze and reheat fantastically, and I highly recommend making a month’s supply at a time. To do so, wrap each patty individually with plastic wrap, then store in a freezer bag in your freezer. They should last a good few months that way.

Easy Fo-cheesey Egg Scramble

1/2 c egg substitute

pinch of cayenne
pinch of garlic powder
1/3 c (or more) chopped broccoli
1/4 c chopped onion
1 slice packaged ham, chopped
1/4 c fat free shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 medium tomato, chopped, with the gutsy part left out, for garnish

Spray your pan with cooking spray, and heat to medium-high. Sautee the veggies until the onions start to look translucent (a few minutes), then cover the pan with a lid to help the broccoli cool.

Meanwhile, whisk the egg with the cayenne and garlic powder.

Remove the lid, turn heat to medium, and add the egg. Scramble it up. These cook pretty quickly. When the egg is no longer runny, sprinkle the cheese on top, turn off the burner, and lid the pan again to melt the cheese without burning the egg. About two minutes later, you, my friend have a cheesey egg scramble.

Just like your half-Polish, half-Italian grandmother used to make!

Everyone who’s ever had pierogies loves them. Unless they don’t like potato, cheese, pasta or butter, in which case they are clearly mad. I have yet to make pierogies, but I have a little ace up my sleeve called pierogi lasagna. It’s very easy, if time consuming.

Recovering carbophiles may wish to avert their eyes, lest they become entangled in the enticing mesh of potatoes and pasta. On the other hand, this dish is relatively low fat (remember, the butter is being distributed among 12 servings, and I found that fat free cheddar did the trick quite adequately), and they sit like a brick in your stomach, so you’re not likely to want more than one piece of the stuff.

We begin, predictably, with potatoes. These are some of the most beautiful reds I’ve seen in a long time.

The skin was so lovely, in fact, that I left it on. That’s my usual preference anyway, though.

Stir in some cheddar and sour cream. I left out the butter, for now.

Sautee a sliced onion in a 1.5 sticks of butter. This is why there was no butter in the potatoes.

Now we begin the lasagna part of all this. Spread a little onion-butter on the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish.

Lay down some noodles.

Spread potatoes little by little. It helps to drop a dollop, then spoon it out, working row by row along the noodles.

And then some onions and butter on top of that.

Repeat that a few times, then top with noodles and the rest of the butter and onions. There should be more of this stuff on top than in any of the layers.

Bake for 20 minutes and you get this.

Use your baking time as an opportunity to fry up some kielbasa. Enjoy the hell out of it.

Pierogi Lasagna

1 lb lasagna noodles
4 lbs red or white potatoes
1/4 c sour cream (optional)
1/2 c milk
2 c shredded cheddar cheese
3/4 c butter (1.5 sticks)
1 onion, sliced in rings

Cook the noodles. Chop potatoes into 1″ cubes, place in pot of cold water (enough to cover), and allow to come to a boil. Continue boil until potatoes are soft enough to yield to a fork stab. Drain, mash, blend with a mixer. Toss in the optional sour cream and milk, mix some more. Add salt to taste. Stir in cheddar.

Melt all the butter over medium-high heat, then sautee onion until the rings no longer hold their shape.

Preheat oven to 375. Grease the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish with some of the onion-butter. Lay noodles on the bottom of the dish, then spread the potatoes, a dollop at a time, along the length of each noodle. Once done, smooth the potatoes, then spread about a quarter of the onion on top, and drizzle a small amount of butter as well. Repeat this twice (or more if your dish can accommodate), then top with noodles and the remainder of the onions and butter.

Pop in the oven for 20 minutes. Allow to cool 10 minutes before cutting and serving.

Grilled cheese. Mmmmm. Nothing quite like it on a rainy Sunday afternoon beside a bowl of hot soup. Or a night when mom doesn’t feel like really cooking. Crispy, gooey, warm, always fresh, eternally comforting, grilled cheeses are truly an amazing thing.

But what if I told you it could BETTER?! Yes, you heard it, better than you remember. This was Dano’s claim upon our first rainy Sunday together, and I’m all like “psh, yeah right, dude.” But he was right. The secret?

Spices. This is my traditional grilled cheese spice mix: salt, pepper, paprika, oregano, basil and just a smidge of cayenne pepper. And what’s more, the spices add enough savour that you can make this with just a teaspoon of margarine (for the whole thing) . . .

. . . some light bread . . .

. . . and fat free cheese singles. I have a feeling a few people are going to call for my foodie resignation, but those people have not had these sammiches! You don’t have to make this light; my first experience was with thick-cut cheddar, a meaty and flavourful whole-grain bread and lots of butter. It was certainly delightful. Make your grilled cheese your favourite way, but the spices are key.

Now, there is a method to the spices. All your leafy spices go on one slice, and all your powdery ones on the other.

Take your knife and pretend you’re spreading more butter/margarine on there to smear all the spices in real good-like. Check out your fridge for any miscellaneous vegetables you might like on there and chop them up pretty finely. This will prevent you from burning your lips on a length of onion that drew out some damn hot cheese with it. I always use onions, tomatoes, fresh basil if I have it, and just a single slice of ham. Be generous, you’re making a sammich here!

And then you construct your perfect grilled cheese on medium-hot. I think the picture says it all.

Btw, that black stuff on there is actually purple basil. I like to let my cheese cook veerrryyy slooowwwwlllyyy. You don’t have to do that. I think I just like watching it.

Now no squishing with your spatula, okay? Flip!

And once it’s all melty like that, you are ready to eat! Serve as one does grilled cheese.

I like to try all kinds of different mixes of things depending on what I’m eating for bread at the time and what I’m in the mood for. So with sandwich-sliced raisin bread I’ll use sage, basil, cinnamon, chili powder. With a wheat bread maybe I’ll try mace instead of cayenne. You see? Whatever you like in food, you’ll probably like on your grilled cheese. Except garlic powder, that has never quite worked out for me!

Grilled cheeses. Totally omonom.

Dano’s Gourmet Grilled Cheeses
highly adaptable to your liking

2 slices bread of your choice
Margarine or butter to your liking
2 slices cheese of your choice
Sliced onions, tomatoes, avocado, basil, cilantro, parsley, green/red peppers, ham, turkey, or whatever else tasty and sammich-able is in your fridge
Spices! (again, I use a generous pinch each of basil, oregano, paprika, salt & pepper, and then a tiny little amount of cayenne pepper) Also works well is chili powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, pre-made spice mixes, Tony Chachere’s, whatever’s in your spice rack.

Sprinkle your leafy spices on one slice of buttered bread, and your powdery spices on the other. Smear both sides good with your knife, just don’t get too overzealous and tear the bread.

Craft your grilled cheese over medium to medium-high heat, stacking one ingredient at a time onto the pan. Heat up some soup, keep an eye on the cheese, and enjoy when it’s all ready.

It’s getting chilly, isn’t it, friends? Time to bust out the belly-warming goodness of winter veggies and heavier fare.

This is yet another recipe belonging to the Family Cookbook. My Memere Rita INSISTS that she has the best beef stew recipe. Once my father made the mistake of mentioning “well, Doris [my mother] has a pretty good recipe herself,” my memere was in complete disbelief. No no, her soup was clearly the best, and none would compare.

I’m not sure how long ago this battle raged, but when my mother requested recipes of the Mater Familias, this one was sent, no doubt to prove a point. Now I love my mother dearly, and her beef stew is excellent, so I was a little defensive about the whole situation and didn’t want to like this stew. It contains veggies I’d never used before, but I went outside my comfort zone and, ironically, ended up with a new comfort food.

The broth is sweet owing to these mysterious turnips and parsnips, standard fare in many households, but not the one in which I grew up. I thought the recipe could use a bit more colour, so I threw in some celery. And oh my, if you serve this to a friend with some Tuscan bread, you may very well earn a friend for life.

Here we go! Don’t tell Memere I let the veggies get that close to the meat before it was cooked okay? Thanks dude, I appreciate that.

Now we do the choppy chop.

First step is to sear the beef. Memere wisely used the oil and butter method, in which you use two tablespoons of each. I try to keep my recipes lower cal wherever possible, but I am a meat LOVER and searing your meat on high in oil and butter is hands-down the best way to do it. For stew, it is no different.

At this point, I sauteed the onions and almost broke down and just dug in the way it is. Because there is no more amazing combination in my world than steak and onions.

Now we’re gonna start with our other veggies. Each is added one at a time in league with a cup or two of water. At first I was a little frustrated at the vagueness of this. “One to two cups?! Memere, just tell me how many cups already!” I think the idea is to make sure that all your veggies are at least partly in the water with each addition. Oh, and every time you add something, let it return to a boil before adding the next.

Carrots

Celery

Turnips

Parsnips

And potatoes!

Now you let this bad larry simmer for a little while and you end up with this little number here.

Wrap yourself in a blanket on the couch and enjoy!

Memere Rita’s “Back to My Roots” Beef Stew

2 tbsp oil
2 tbsp butter
1.5 lbs sirloin beef, lean cut, cut into 1/2″ cubes
1 yellow onion, chopped
4-5 carrots, peeled & sliced
4 ribs celery, sliced (editor’s addition, optional)
1 purple tap turnip, peeled & diced (I googled this term, and I think she means the small turnip. I could only find a large, so I used half of it)
4-5 parsnips, peeled & sliced
4-5 potatoes, peeled & diced

Let oil and butter get HOT on the stove, then sear beef for about two minutes. Reduce heat, add chopped onion and sautee to caramelize.

Now add each vegetable in turn with 1-2 cups hot water (just enough to cover most of the vegetables). After each addition, allow the pot to return to a boil:

Carrots
Celery
Turnips
Parsnips
Potatoes

After the potatoes, give it a good stir. I wouldn’t recommend stirring it again after it’s simmered, or your veggies will kind of fall apart in a mushy mess. Let simmer, uncovered, 30-50 minutes. Season to taste (and salt is an excellent idea here).

Serves 8 exhausted, growing farm boys. Reheats well.

This is the next recipe in my Family Cookbook series. This one comes from my little sister Sarah, but is actually one of my all-time favourites. When I got my first apartment in college, I also got my very first cookbook from UNH Health Services, and what do you know, it’s now online. Get the entire thing here: Good Eats! Quick & Easy Food for Busy College Students.

I love this cookbook because it’s very health-conscious in addition to focusing on budget. I would recommend it to anyone who has never really cooked for themselves, and I myself use recipes from it regularly. I’d have to say it’s the only cookbook from which I’ve made most of the recipes.

This one in particular is just wonderful. I’m still amazed at how such a simple concoction can bring joy into my life over and over again without making me fat (and oh my god it has so much fiber in it). And it only takes about 20 minutes to make. It is also extremely amendable: you can add chicken, leave out the feta, leave out the pasta, throw in other veggies you have. But really, all you need is a can of tomatoes, a can of cannellini beans, garlic, 10 oz of fresh spinach and some pasta.

Sautee your garlic on low then throw in your canned stuff. The tomatoes ought not be drained, but the cannellini need to be rinsed.

And if you didn’t use the Italian seasoned tomatoes, generously empty your spice cabinet in there (basil, oregano, kosher salt, pepper). Even if you did use the Italian stuff, you’re going to want some salt in there.

While that’s simmering, you have plenty of time to break the stems off your spinach and rinse it. And unless you used baby spinach, you really want to break off those stems, you’ll thank yourself later on.

Now it’s been about ten minutes, and you want to throw your spinach in there.

Stir that up just until the spinach wilts. In fact, the less cooked the spinach is, the better this is going to taste, so leave it on low while you stir that in. It should only take a minute or so to be done.

You *were* cooking your pasta all the while, correct? I also include this shot as a measure of what 2 oz of penne (1 serving) looks like cooked. As a frame of reference, that bowl is exactly a cup. Needless to say, it will not be 2 oz once it’s cooked.

Now top with feta, if you’re doing that, and voila! A twenty-minute dinner that’s incredible in every way. I usually leave out the feta, but since B’Garah loves her cheese, I had to include it for the picture. It also makes the shot a little more attractive.

And that’s all she wrote.

Mediterranean Pasta
Adapted from the UNH Good Eats! Cookbook

1 tbsp olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced or finely chopped
1-28 oz can diced tomatoes (use whole peeled if you’re leaving out the pasta)
1-14 oz can cannellini (also called white kidney beans and similar to Navy or Great Northern Beans)
1 tbsp dried basil leaves
1 tbsp dried oregano leaves
1 tbsp kosher salt
black pepper to taste
10 oz fresh spinach, stems removed
4-8 oz cooked penne (I like the Smart Taste brand best)

First, set your water to boil, and cook pasta when it’s there (which will be at some point in the middle of all this).

Sautee the garlic in the oil in a nice big pot on low for about a minute. Enter tomatoes, beans and spices. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer, uncovered, for ten minutes while you de-stem your spinach. Now throw in the spinach and stir until it’s just wilted.

Serve atop pasta (this is a very small amount of pasta called for, there will be considerably more sauce than pasta), with feta if so desired.

Serves 4.

NOTES:
* Use a big pot because the spinach starts out really fluffy and this will give you space to stir without getting the spinach all over your stove.
* Don’t start heating your oil until the garlic is minced/chopped and ready to go, or you’ll end up with nasty bitter burnt garlic.
* Consider serving sans pasta. In this case, use the whole peeled tomatoes.
* It really doesn’t need the feta and it doesn’t need much pasta either. Honest. The spinach gets this buttery texture to it that eliminates the need for extra fat/flavour.

When I was a kid we visited my Uncle Doug with some frequency, and he only owned two movies from what I can remember. The first was The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, which didn’t appeal to me for more than five minutes at a time, and the second was Fried Green Tomatoes. Yes, it is a chick flick, but it’s also a dark period film, and at the time that shit was directly up my alley. Oh, who are we kidding, it’s still up my alley.

In college, I took a food lit class and this was also on the required reading. Turns out in the book there’s a little bit more of a lesbian bent. Who knew? Whatever the case, I digress. It all comes down to I saw green tomatoes at work, and decided to try something new. In addition to the food itself, check out the results of my fancy little light box!

Look at these babies. Just beautiful, the color.

Green being my favourite colour, this was practically a religious experience visually.

This isn’t sandart, it’s just the underwhelming breading for these things.

And here they are, fried green tomatoes!

These were really just okay, which surprises me in a way, considering how much oil went into them, but not in other ways, like it’s a southern dish. I could see these being excellent with seasoned breadcrumbs, but I’m not a big fan of cornmeal without something punching it up a bit, and needless to say, the tsp of paprika really didn’t cut it. That said, I made an attempt to salvage this experiment.

Yep, you can make anything into a pretty good sammich. This one features arugula, cheddar, red onion, and mayo. My research tells me that green tomatoes are indeed just red tomatoes that haven’t had a chance to ripen yet. I thought maybe they were some kind of varietal. Maybe I’ll try fried heirloom tomatoes one of these days.

If you are interested in making your own, here’s a recipe from Epicurious.