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Archive for the ‘saturday morning brunch’ Category

Let’s talk pancakes. Finally. It’s been a spectacularly shitty couple weeks and I’d like nothing more than to discuss this little contest thing we got going on…

Your typical high-bokeh pancake stack.

I was impressed with the variety of pancake secrets revealed by the recipes submitted. One called for specifically, a griddle. Another sweetly suggested a few drops of red food colouring to charm your favourite little girl with pink pancakes. Yet another with the admonition that “this isn’t rocket science, people” and that you can add milk or yogurt until, y’know, the batter looks right. On a side note, I’d like to confirm with a rocket scientist that this ISN’T rocket science because I really wouldn’t know, I’m just a data analyst.

And then there was the winner: Blender Pancakes. Not only did this recipe call for a blender, but also cottage cheese, specifically, creamy small curd cottage cheese, which I’ve never had occasion to search for but AM IMMEASURABLY INGRATIATED TO DANIEL because hola crap, is this stuff good! I didn’t find anything specifically labeled creamy, but I did find some Vermont Style, which fits the description and makes me want to eat buckets of cottage cheese every night for dinner. And I’ll be making some kind of dip too. Ooo, ooo, and putting grapes in it. And so on in that fashion, at least until the cost of greek yogurt comes down.

Buy this. And eat it by the bucket.

Also, Cabot Creamery is relatively local, in that it would be easily within-state distance if I lived in the midwest which, thankfully, I do not. Our states are small up here, but scrappy, and Vermont proudly produces cheeses of all varieties that make us proud to be New Englanders, because most of us would be considerably less proud to be Wisconsiners.

Daniel would have been the proud new owner of one snazzy-looking and totally kitsch Automatic Pancake Maker, which hails from the era of scripty diner-writing, if it hadn’t turned out to be um, nonfunctional actually. Not completely nonfunctional, but it did leak batter all about and made a terrific mess. Thankfully, I had a backup Automatic Pancake Maker that is better designed, so I used that instead. I would argue that “pancake dispenser” would be a better term as this thing is neither automatic nor self-sufficient in making pancakes, but the marketing department never consulted me.

More free advice: don't bother. All looks. Pretty useless.

Even the better dispenser is not really meant for such a thin batter. I cite as evidence what happens with a thin batter in an automatic pancake maker when the user is attempting to photograph it as well. That thing practically barfed up the hugest pancake I’ve ever unintentionally made.

Ever seen a pancake barfed out? Here you go.

In trying to avoid this from happening again, I ended up with some interesting modern art kidney-shaped pancakes with holes in them, in addition to a stack of pancakes where not a single one is the same size as any other. Despite their size variance, they did remain more-or-less round, and certainly more than when I try to use other pancake dispensing techniques, so I’ll chalk this gadget up as a moderate success.

Warhol's pancake delight.

I’m kinda happy that the process is so simple, thus letting me ramble on and on about rocket scientists, cottage cheese varieties and products that failed to catch the public’s imagination for obvious reasons. The process is basically “blend all this stuff and then make yourself some pancakes out of it.” That’s it. I like that these are skinny, high-protein little treats that are almost a pancake-crepe hybrid. No leavening, but still a lighter-than-rubbery texture given how thin they are, which can be attributed to the whippiness of egg whites in a blender. I like a good skinny pancake m’self, though they do not accommodate blueberries very well . . . but no reason you can’t throw a handful in the blender.

For real, best cottage cheese ever.

The glow of yolks.

Another nice thing about these is how quick it is to accumulate a stack. About a minute a side and tada! Pancake. I used my electric griddle because um, it’s awesome, and even though it isn’t the best-ever griddle, it’s well worth the $20. This will not be the last you see of this thing.

Pollock pancake.

Even though I’m a syrup dipper, it’s not as pretty as catching a little drop of syrup glistening from a stack of pancakes, so I did that. For my art. I suffer for it, you see.

The classic syrup drip. Beautiful every time.

And I call this one “Pancake Sunrise,” despite the fact that it was photographed around 2am and would have been inedible by sunrise.

Pancake sunrise, 2am wednesday morning.

The crepey texture aids this little photographic feat, bee-tee-dubs. See?

Cut right through.

Way to go, Daniel. You win.

Blender Pancakes
courtesy of Daniel and 50 tastebuds’ taste test efforts

Combine in a blender:
1 c small curd cream-style cottage cheese
4 medium or large eggs
1/2 c unbleached white flour
1/4 t salt
1/8 c melted butter
1/8 c canola oil
1/2 c skim or 2% milk
1/2 t vanilla
Whirl at high speed 1 minute. Grease griddle thoroughly before cooking.

Serves 3 as main dish.

Always make the first pancake right in the middle of the griddle at the hottest part. It will get bubbles as any good pancake should but don’t let that be your only guide — you have to keep trying to turn it up at the edge to make sure its cooking right. The key is to flip it as soon as you can. Hopefully this occurs at the point that its golden brown. If it takes more than a minute or so to cook, turn up the heat! If it is too dark when it sets up enough to flip, then turn it down. Temperature variations on the griddle are not your friend.

Welcome to the pancake party.

Don’t you want nothing more than pancakes now?? If so, I’ve done my job.

nutrition summary (1/3rd batch): 390 calories, 26g fat (yikes!), .6g fiber, but 20g protein; ~ 10 weight watchers points

The mimosa. A delicious blend of fruit & alcohol that transforms even the most mediocre of brunches into an experience nothing short of magical. But alas, there are times where maybe perhaps a little bit of drinking might not be in the cards. Perhaps your hangover dictates brunch, but the thought of another drink, well, let’s just say you don’t want to think about another drink.

The solution is simple: Faux Mimosa. In addition to the dilemma above, it can be applied to a number of other problems as well. Perhaps you have that teetotaler friend, or worse, a decidedly non-teetotaler friend who gets whiny and annoying. Maybe you have a sister or niece *just* shy of 19 and you want to be the cool older sister (or cool aunt) without all the baggage of being arrested for serving alcohol to someone underage. How cool would you be to have her pals over, as you bemusedly observe the pitch and slurredness of their gossip rise over the course of the evening, so sure they are that this is the real deal. I would warn that you might end up providing crash space.

So imagine my delight in finding this recipe:

Faux mimosa.

Side note: while the Fish House Punch looks like it might be pretty good, you’d think they could come up with a better title. Really. Or just run with it and garnish with fish heads.

This gem comes to us via that 1977 classic Sharing Our Best, a collection gathered by the Devil Worshipping Green Mountain Deputies Association of Vermont. The Devil Worshipping part isn’t explicitly addressed, except for THAT HUGE UPSIDE-DOWN PENTACLE ON THE COVER, which couldn’t possibly be a gross oversight.

Faux mimosa.

We begin our Champagne Mocktail odyssey.

Buy local . . . soda.

I like to buy local whenever possible. Turns out Polar makes its soda, like, 10 miles that way, so it’s extra fresh and better retains its vitamin content. That’s how that works, right?

I decided to squeeze my own orange and grapefruit juice, since I really don’t drink these things anyway and didn’t want to surrender the fridge space. These are also locally-grown oranges and grapefruit. I just love going orange-picking, they have this great farm right in Westborough.

Citrus. Decidedly not local.

I’m just kidding. Citrus plants don’t grow in New England.

In an awkward proportion, to get a cup each of orange and grapefruit juice, it took 3 oranges and 1.5 grapefruit. I think this probably changes depending on season, specific varietal and origin of your oranges, though the grapefruit proportion seems as though it would be a little more reliable. As a frame of reference, 1 orange = 1/3 c juice and 1 grapefruit = 2/3 c juice.

The remains.

The easiest way to get juice out of citrus is with a citrus reamer. They’re cheap, extremely effective, and feel like way less of a pain in the ass than one of those little cup things. Also, you can strain the juice as you make it, which is convenient. Just poke it in your fruit there, mess up the insides, then let the juice drip into the sieve, and presumably the bowl underneath. Last step is to squeeze the orange/grapefruit around the reamer and rotate.

How to ream out an orange.

Get out your finest $5 Ikea pitcher.

I actually do love this thing.

And pour your non-alcoholic champagne.

Ginger ale.

Faux mimosa.

Faux mimosa.

Looks like a nice witbier, eh?

Faux mimosa.

Pour into your completely inappropriately-shaped glass.

But mimosas are for girls. Girls with names like Kelli and Brittany. Let’s girl this up a bit, shall we?

A 3 on the girly scale.

Well, that’s nice, but Kelli and Brittany would kinda feel like you aren’t trying. Put some fruit in there, bitches love that shit.

On the girl scale, perhaps a 6

Okay, we’re getting close. Let’s just go all out.

Kelli and Brittany would totally drink this.

Drink on, ladies, drink on.

This was a bit sweet for my tastes, so I recommend excluding the extra sugar—it just felt so sticky sweet, it was much more refreshing after I diluted a bit with seltzer water. I also think there’s a little room for experimentation here down the seltzer water path, it makes for a dryer-tasting “champagne.” This inordinate sweetness is why you’ll notice I went from making Mock Champagne to Mocktail Mimosa. It just describes it better.

Faux Mimosa
from Sharing Our Best by the Green Mountain Deputies Association (1977)

Feel free to make this low-sugar or sugar-laden according to your preference. Serves 8.

1 liter ginger ale
1 c grapefruit juice (1.5 grapefruit if fresh-squeezing)
1 c orange juice (3 oranges if fresh-squeezing)
1 c water

Mix. Chill. Text Kelli and Brittany and see if they’re doing anything.

nutrition summary (1 serving with diet ginger ale): 23 calories, no fat, no fiber; about .5 weight watchers points

Okay, Recipe Round-Robin Tastebuds . . . did you get Recipe A? Did you just love it? Well, so did everyone else, and I’m so excited to announce the winner of Omnomicon’s very first Recipe Round-Robin: it’s none other than my old pal Lo of Burp! Where Food Happens fame!! Come on down, Lo, you have won your very own copy of The America’s Test Kitchen Family Baking Book.


See? Like that!

I want to thank the several other folks who entered the contest for so generously sharing their recipes. Y’all rock! Everyone had delicious descriptions of each of the recipes involved, so rest assured yours garnered some mad props in some end of the globe.

So what made this recipe so awesome? Here are some of the nice things our Tastebuds had to say:

  • Muffin A was hailed as “the best blueberry muffin EVER”.
  • A was fluffy, moist and very very tasty.
  • This was a difficult, very delicious decision. But Recipe A is the winner in my book (er, stomach?).

And here’s what my test run of Lo’s Blueberry Pecan Muffins with Brown Sugar Topping looked like. We start with buttermilk and oil. It looks pretty cool.

Oil and buttermilk.

If you don’t have a cup of buttermilk on hand, you can always substitute a cup of milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice, or, as I recently found out, 1 cup of yogurt. Now, clearly Lo got it right with the buttermilk, but just in case you forgot to pick up the buttermilk at the grocery store, these are things you are more likely to have already on hand.

There were blueberries, of course.

Blueberries, of course.

. . . and a subtle amount of pecans in the batter that is *juuuuuusssttt* enough without overdoing it.

Pecans are a secret.

I have to admit that I kind of messed this up just a teensy bit, though not enough to destroy the tastiness of all this (*phew!*). See, I was out of dark brown sugar, and apparently I haven’t quite mastered how to make dark brown sugar out of sugar and molasses, soo . . . my topping was a little too wet (as in, it had too much butter and not enough sugar). And because of that, I ended up with little holes into the top of my muffins. But if you use hard packed brown sugar and did it right, yours should look more like mounds of brown sugar and less like um, well . . . brown gloop on top. Like I said, this is me and NOT the recipe. So make sure yours looks like brown sugar still.

My mistake.

And you know, the brown sugar and pecan topping really makes this extra-special.

The topping makes it.

But in the end, it’s a blueberry muffin, and aren’t they always just totally delicious?

Best blueberry muffin.

Lo’s Award-Winning Blueberry Pecan Muffins with Brown Sugar Topping
courtesy of Lo

2 cups flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup oil
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup fresh blueberries

1/2 cup dark brown sugar packed
3 T melted butter *(see NOTE below)
1/4 cup finely chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 375º.

Combine flour, granulated sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, and 1/2 cup pecans in large bowl.

Whisk buttermilk, oil, egg, and vanilla in small bowl. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients; stir just until combined. Gently fold in blueberries. Allow batter for 15 minutes before dividing evenly among paper-lined muffin cups.

Combine melted butter and brown sugar in a small bowl. [Aleta’s NOTE (and the only part of this not word-for-word Lo’s recipe): a lot of people have had a hard time with this crumbly topping like I did (notably, others have had no problem at all), probably from not packing sugar enough. Because brown sugar packing is an inexact process, I recommend reducing the butter 1 tbsp or eliminating altogether to prevent sunken-in tops.] Spoon 2 tsp over each muffin then sprinkle with 1 tsp of the remaining finely chopped pecans.

Bake muffins at 375º for approximately 20 minutes or until a toothpick in the center comes out clean. Cool on a rack for at least 15 minutes before serving.

 

 

nutrition summary (for 1 of about 14 muffins, with topping, real egg & all-purpose flour): 310 calories, 1g fiber, 16g fat; 7 weight watchers points

 

 

Hey, one last thing: a lot of participants said they enjoyed taste-testing and would do it again. Yay! That means my experiment was successful! That said, what do you think would be a good recipe standard for the next Recipe Round-Robin? I’m looking for the kind of thing that everyone has a recipe for. So far Twitterers have recommended things like macaroni & cheese, meatloaf and shepherd’s pie . . . keep going, what else can you think of? Leave a comment if you know just the thing, and thanks dude!

The one food category I seem to feed more than any other is Saturday Morning Brunch. There’s just something about waking up a little early at the very onset of two days of pure relaxation, heading to the kitchen, and waking up everyone in the house with tantalizing and familiar smells. And I’ve found that breakfast just seems to have the most universal appeal to anyone from anywhere and of any food preference. It brings together picky eaters, the hungover, old folks after church, Norwegians . . . and just minor alterations to the standard fare can accommodate virtually anyone. Even vegans enjoy animal-free bacon and dieters eat egg-white omelets, and those of us who normally shirk breakfast will always take the time to enjoy one on a sunny Saturday morning.

But there is one breakfast delicacy so simple and omnipresent, I’m aghast with myself that I’ve neglected it until now. And that’s pancakes.

In an attempt toward rainbow cake fan service, I envisioned a colourful stack of multi-coloured pancakes sans-food dye, dyed only by the beauty of the fruits therein contained. Unfortunately, berries, with the exception of the blue variety, all seem to impart pancake batter with a dingy grey that is anything but inspiring. However, cheddar cheese makes for bright cheerful pancakes that are not savoury, but instead taste extra-buttery, making for a nice complement to the traditional blueberry. Also, though I’ve mentioned before that buttermilk pancakes are best, my favourite recipe by far is the standard regular old milk-and-all-purpose flour variety.

Anyone reading this has likely made pancakes, and I’ve included a recipe at the bottom for reference’s sake, but I think I’ll let the pictures, largely, speak for themselves. Except I need to tell you a secret, and you’re going to hate me for telling you because it’s such a guilty little secret, but . . . the best way to make your pancakes with crispy edges and fluffy insides is . . . shortening. Yes, a smidge of trans-fat-laden shortening in the pan does the trick admirably.

Blueberries.

Sharp cheddar.

I’ll interrupt the silence here for just a moment: I’ve read a few places the best way to make blueberry pancakes is to put the blueberries on top of the batter once it’s in the pan to keep the whole batter from turning blue. I have no idea why anybody could look at this and not find it absolutely beautiful.

Blueberry batter.

Moving along . . .

Bubbly blueberry.Blueberry flip.

Cheddar in the pan.

Sunny sunny cheddar.

Repeat as desired.
A stack of delight.

And finally, the shot that made it all worth it. Aren’t these stripes giddily Dr. Seuss-like?

Dr. Seuss stripes.

If you don’t want pancakes right now, I just plain don’t understand you (or you just ate, which is possible).

Blueberry & Cheddar Pancakes
adapted from The JOY of Cooking

1.5 c all-purpose flour
4 tbsp sugar
1.75 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1.5 c milk (whole, lowfat, skim, it’s your call)
3 tbsp melted butter
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 c shredded sharp cheddar OR 3/4 c frozen blueberries, thawed, pressed, with juice.

Whisk or sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Whisk the milk, butter, eggs and vanilla, then add to the dry ingredients. Mix just until the flour is all moistened, then stir in cheddar or blueberries; let sit for 10-15 minutes if you can spare the time . . . it seems to make the pancakes a little fluffier.

Back to that deep dark secret, shortening, which, to reiterate, makes crispy edges whilst preserving the fluffy insides. You put a smidge, about a knifetip, in the pan between each batch and you won’t regret it. However, butter or cooking spray still does the job, though not as well.

Once the pan is hot from sitting on medium-high heat (7 for fellow gas-stovers out there), drop 1/4 c of batter for each cake. Flip when the bottom is toasty and the bubbles on top aren’t popping quite as much, then remove once the new bottom is toasty.

Serve with a smile on a sunny Saturday morning.

Hello friends!

Being an American, at least in my case, means wondering about the lifestyles of our elegant cousins overseas—you know, the British. Whenever an American does an impression of a Briton, they typically involve some mention of “tea and croompets!” and overexaggerate the accent with pursed lips. This makes me feel like a jerk for even mentioning, but I’m sure the British have some classic impressions of a Southern drawl that I am just dying to hear. More interesting would be an impression of an accent-neutral American reading a news report or talking about their SUV.

So when choos & chews featured some particularly lovely looking crumpets, I thought I’d give them a try.

Immediately, I ran into a problem: crumpet rings. Apparently this is something common in other areas, but not readily available in New England. I found some egg rings that would do the trick, but for $2 apiece. And then, brilliance struck: cookie cutters. Multi-functional, cheap, and way more fun than an egg ring.

But first, the batter.

Ingredients.

Just add yeast.

Yeasty.

. . . and wait awhile until it becomes a bubbly, thick batter.

Bubbly.

Okay, and NOW the fun begins. Because the batter is so thick, the rings are really there just to keep them from spreading too much. Butter in your shapes is pivotal.

Crumpets for fun.

As with all things, however, there’s a catch: the more intricate shapes really just don’t cut it. Some worked out great, but it seemed to be a coincidence. I’m sad my little stegosaurus didn’t work out (he’s the one to the right there).

Crumpets!

Simpler shapes worked out better.

Crumpets!

Fortunately some of my favourites stayed intact enough for a crumpet diorama.

Crumpet diorama.

This is the childlike story being illustrated: a car fell in a ditch and an airplane flew by, so the pilot called a tow truck but they were all picking up other cars, so then an elephant walked by and said he would pull the car out. The airplane stayed in case they needed any more help.

The end.

I liked the car the best.

Car crumpets.

Speaking from experience, these are FANTASTIC with some homemade butter. And also, just a smidge of apricot preserves, which I have recently come to embrace.

Be-apricotted car crumpets.

Crumpets!
brought to me by choos & chews, but adjusted for American audiences

1.25 c flour
1/2 c milk
1 tsp instant yeast (referred to as bread machine yeast at my grocery store)
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbsp water, room temperature, divided
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp butter

Mix up the flour, milk, yeast, sugar and salt. Add 1 tbsp water; beat slowly for a bit, then on medium until totally smooth. Cover and let sit for an hour.

Dissolve the baking soda with the 2 tbsp water and add to batter, stirring to combine. Put the batter aside, again, for a half hour. At this juncture, it will be poofy and bubbly and thick.

Butter your crumpet rings/cookie cutters WELL, especially if you are using shapier cookie cutters. Heat pan to medium, grease with butter, place the cookie cutters in and spread batter into them about 2/3 of the way in. Don’t waste too much time trying to account for the little details of the cookie cutters, as those things are cooking and you want to be able to flip them all about the same time.

Once the bottom is browned, pop the crumpets out of their shapes and flip. Continue to cook until the new bottom is browned and cool on a rack.

Toast. Butter. Top. Eat with tea and a nod across the pond.

Hola! Como esta? Bueno!

My Spanish isn’t what it never used to be, but guess who has two thumbs and just celebrated a 25th birthday.

->this gal<-, that’s who!

I received so many wonderful gifts from my closest pals, and I include among them the gift of everyone’s presence at my karaoke bash, which is all I really wanted anyway. But SOME people (yes, I am talking about you, Erin) are apparently way the hell too cool and just had to go out and make my birthday extra-special—and I guess I can’t complain because you guys,

Check

This

Out.

Absurdly awesome birthday gift.Absurdly awesome birthday gift.

Are you frickin kidding?! Totally adorable, funky, completely vintage and all mine. So I prefer family items because what’s vintage really without a good story, right? OH WELL HEY IT CAME WITH ONE OF THOSE TOO.

Absurdly awesome birthday gift.

This lovely oven proof cassarole [sic] was a Christmas gift from Billy to his Nana Mary Nicotera in 1971. Nana cherished it and never used it except to display on the kitchen counter. A lovely family heirloom which could be used as a cookie jar.

Billy purchased it at a fine quality gift shop in Marblehead. Unfortunately the ID card of the manufacturer went astray but it is of fine quality.
Bea Cannata
Billy’s mom 4/15/78

I can’t even believe that I have come to own a 40-year-old piece that may or may not have ever been used, but if it has, it certainly doesn’t show. So until I find a suitable cherry-popping recipe, I will cherish it and admire the class it brings to my kitchen counter.

Thank you, Erin, for sharing the most fantastic taste of anyone I know.

So this is completely unrelated to my birthday, other than I made it the morning of receiving The Great Gift. Finnish pancakes! There’s not too much in the way of ingredients, but they all pull their weight in a crescendo of souffle-like tastiness.

finnish pancakes

Man, that ingredient set is as white as Rhode Island.

In the mix.

I love the egg yolk peeking out from under there. Hello, little egg yolk!

What makes pancakes Finnish is, apparently, that they are pancaked in the oven rather than the stove top. This is a great way to serve a large number of people piping hot pancakes all at once.

PSA: Finnish pancakes are baked, not pan-fried.

Nice edges, *catcall*

Serving suggestions (2).

Elevation.

Sugar high.

Serve with love.

Finnish Pancakes
Courtesy of Massachusetts Poultry Association, Inc.
Buy lots of eggs!!!

4 tbsp butter, melted
4 eggs
2 c milk
1/2 c flour
2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 450o, and pour the melted butter into a 9″x16″ baking pan.

Beat eggs until foamy but not whippy, until well-blended. Beat with milk, flour, sugar and salt. Pour into pan with butter and bake 20-23 minutes.

Serve any way you like! Serving suggestions pictured include powdered sugar & cinnamon and real Massachusetts maple syrup.

 

 

nutrition summary: (for 1 of 8 servings, made with fat free egg substitute & skim milk) 115 calories, 6g fat, <1g fiber; 3 weight watchers points

Woo! More diner food. Get excited.

What I mean to say is “Get excited, you’re going to be one skinny bitch or dude!”

(Hey! Some of those menu items are clickable.)

Yum! The sausage is a *mite* time-consuming, but it’s delicious and easy to freezey. Here, lemme show you.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

This called for a number of spices I don’t normally use, hence the unappealing array of unsightly jars. It even looks better on raw meat, somehow.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Since turkey comes in 1.25 lb packages, and since I haven’t tested the spice blend with that much turkey (I saved the extra quarter pound for a chili), I would say to use generous 1/2 tsps of the spices. Because we’re talking an extra 1/8 tsp, and my measuring spoons don’t even get that small. It’s about a pinch.

Now weigh out 1.1 oz patties. I know that’s kind of a weird size, but they were just the right size. If you don’t have a scale, divide your meat into about 12 parts. Ball up the meat, then pat it down, and stack between little squares of wax paper.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Now chill it for an hour. After the hour’s gone by, wrap whatever you aren’t going to use in saran wrap, then throw them in a freezer-safe bag in the freezer. To thaw later, microwave on high in two 10 second intervals, allowing a minute or so between nukings.

After the hour’s up, get a pan hot, then lay down a patty. Let it sit for a couple minutes, then flip. Let sit another couple minutes. Cut into one to be sure you’ve cooked all the way through (these should be rather thin, so if both sides look white, you’re probably all set).

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

And there you are! Money shot in a bit.

Now for the eggs. I love love LOVE egg substitute, and I use it anywhere I can get away with it. I don’t care what anyone says, for a scramble, these are fantastic. And oh so low calorie. I put a pinch of cayenne and probably a 1/4 tsp of garlic powder. Garlic powder is this amazing thing that you can put in fat free food to make it a thousand times more satisfying. You may have heard of it.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Next, some stuff to add a little fiber to your meal.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

In addition to being delicious, these are lovely additions to your eggs. First you want to salt and pepper these . . . because they are particularly low-fat, the salt helps bring out a lot of otherwise neglected flavour. Sautee on medium-high for a few minutes, then set the burner to medium and lid it for another few minutes to let the broccoli get nice and tender.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Aaaaahhh!! Egg substunami!

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Scramble it up in your awful pan that sticks to everything even when you use cooking spray.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

You are perhaps thinking “But Aleta, I only like broccoli when its flavour is completely masked by cheese!” Have no fear, cheese-lover . . . there is such a thing as fat free shredded cheddar, and it goes on top of these eggs.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

Now turn off the burner and, without moving your pan, lid it again to melt the cheese without burning the shit out of your eggs.

Mmmmmelty.

diet diner dinner: scramble & sausage

And that’s dinner.

DSC_0343

Maple Turkey Sausage
adapted from a recipe by A Taste of Home

1.25 lbs ground light turkey
1 tbsp maple syrup
One generous half-teaspoon each:
salt
onion powder
dried sage
dried thyme
poultry seasoning
nutmeg
1/4 tsp cayenne powder (plus a pinch for the adventurous)

Mix the turkey with the spices and maple syrup. Pat into tight 1.1 oz patties (about 14 total). You want these pretty thin so they don’t have to cook for very long. Layer between squares of wax paper and chill in the fridge one hour.

No no, the turkey patties, not you. Get out of there.

Heat a nonstick pan to HOT, then cook each side of the patty 2-3 minutes. Cut into one to be sure that there’s no pink in the middle.

These freeze and reheat fantastically, and I highly recommend making a month’s supply at a time. To do so, wrap each patty individually with plastic wrap, then store in a freezer bag in your freezer. They should last a good few months that way.

Easy Fo-cheesey Egg Scramble

1/2 c egg substitute

pinch of cayenne
pinch of garlic powder
1/3 c (or more) chopped broccoli
1/4 c chopped onion
1 slice packaged ham, chopped
1/4 c fat free shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 medium tomato, chopped, with the gutsy part left out, for garnish

Spray your pan with cooking spray, and heat to medium-high. Sautee the veggies until the onions start to look translucent (a few minutes), then cover the pan with a lid to help the broccoli cool.

Meanwhile, whisk the egg with the cayenne and garlic powder.

Remove the lid, turn heat to medium, and add the egg. Scramble it up. These cook pretty quickly. When the egg is no longer runny, sprinkle the cheese on top, turn off the burner, and lid the pan again to melt the cheese without burning the egg. About two minutes later, you, my friend have a cheesey egg scramble.

ATTENTION SAFARI USERS: perhaps you went to my blogspot and were redirected here? I’m not sure why that’s happening, but I do know the reason is because of my recent move to Omnomicon.com. Since I lack the technical abilities to fix this right now, please update your bookmark/links and you should be able to see all my recent posts. Thanks for your patience!


So I’ve been back on Weight Watchers to lose my last little bit of weight there, and unfortunately this limits the number of lovely baked goods I can feature. But rather than cook/bake items of which I can only enjoy half a portion, I’ve decided to pass my cheap little diet secrets onto anyone who’s interested.

I’ll tell you something, in case you didn’t know already: eating out SUCKS when you’re essentially counting every calorie. Diner food is easy because it’s so simple, but every time I go out for diner food, I sit there thinking about how easy it would be to slim down the same dishes. We decided to institute Diet Diner Dinners once weekly to make eating things like egg substitute and light Italian bread a special meal. This also gives me a focus for the blog, which it so desperately needs.

We’ll start with the basics. Here, have a menu. Take a look.

Omnomicon's diet diner dinner series

Bacon is a diner food STAPLE. Sometimes I feel guilty ordering a diner plate without it because shit, the smell of bacon grease is what Sunday morning hangover food is all about. I’ve tried turkey bacon, and while I’m not afraid of food colouring nor fake diet food, that stuff is remarkably unappetizing. Those stripes and that awful off-taste don’t convince me at all. What is a surprisingly good substitute is frying up some ham and kinda just pretending it’s bacon. Goes well with a fried egg.

diet diner dinner

No pan greasing required! And a single 30-calorie slice of ham makes four slices of fakin bacon. Just the right amount for a single egg.

diet diner dinner

Now because I’m completely unoriginal (and also because I’ve never made hash browns before), I followed Simply Recipe’s Crispy Hash Browns Recipe. I cut the oil down to 2 tbsp to achieve that delicious crispy hash brown taste without all the calories.

I should write commercials.

I started with a pound of potatoes. This is what they looked like.

diet diner dinner

There was a lonely potato as I was shredding ’em. Dano took a picture. It’s my new desktop background. Grab the large size on Flickr if’n ya want yer own.

DSC_0201

Alrighty. Elise was so right about draining the potatoes. In the absence of a potato ricer, I annihilated about half a roll of paper towels drying these out. It was worth it.

diet diner dinner

I guess it’s a little subtle in the photos . . .

I threw on some salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, a pinch of cayenne, and probably other spices from my standard fare.

diet diner dinner

Then I ruined the photo by mixing it all up. This stuff is not terribly photogenic, not gonna lie.

diet diner dinner

But in the end? Best diet food ever.

diet diner dinner

Next week there will be more diner food. Stay tuned, cats ‘n kittens!!

The holidays, as far as I’m concerned, are over. That’s because, to me, Halloween is like Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve all in the same day. Just awesome. I also tend to throw caution to the wind with one hand, while unwrapping and cramming fun size bars and waxy orange sugar into my mouth with the other. This would all be well and good if I were one of those people who can eat forever and never gain weight, but sadly, I am not, and if I’m not losing weight, I’m gaining it. As such, I’m back on the wagon.

Now I’ve heard that it’s in poor taste for a chef to discuss calories (and if I could find that quote I might even link someone), but my foodie license feels a little safer knowing that I regularly blog baked goods that are not safe by the stretches of any diet’s imagination. And you know, even though *I* am a little calorie-conscious, that doesn’t stop me from reading all manners of delicious baking blogs (among my new favourites is Patticake), and I get really excited when I see something low cal enough to eat for dinner.

And this brings us to POACHED EGGS.

With a little somethin-somethin.

What are we making today?

In this case somethin-somethin is a combination of a light (90 calories! 9 grams of fiber!) English muffins, fat free plastic American cheese (30 calories! No fat!) , a real live egg (twice the calories of the fat-free version, but it pays off here), and sliced ham, which is surprisingly not-that-bad-for-you (30 calories, just 1.5g fat). And then an attempt at veggies, a la the ever-versatile tomato and onion.

Egg.

To poach an egg is a special process, and Smitten Kitchen goes through it pretty thoroughly at that link. My strategy involves the following

  • put your egg in a little dish before putting it in the water
  • having the water boiling pretty furiously when I throw the egg in, then immediately turn it to medium-high
  • stir the water so it’s got a good whirlpool going and the egg has a chance to curl in on itself
  • cook for only 1.5 minutes so as to preserve as much of that beautiful gooey egg yolk as possible

You can’t see it, but there’s an egg cooking here.

That's an egg poaching.

Then stack that thing on an already-high stack of the other stuff, and uh, voila! Diet dinner.

Poached egg bonanza!

Put whatever you want on there, and even on your plate. It’s your dinner, and your eggs. Everything tastes especially yummy coated in that delicious creamy egg yolk which, for the calories, is a pretty good deal. You don’t have to be a dieter to appreciate this dish.

So what do you do with your poached egg, the creamy caviar of eggs that don’t belong to fish?

Also, a note on fat free fake cheese: don’t knock it til you try it melted on something. And of course, you can use whatever cheese you want.

Nutrition Information for Dieters
as pictured

230 calories
5.5g fat
9g fiber
4 weight watchers points

As much as I’ve tried to start eating more in season this year, there are always exceptions to the rule. Perhaps it was the density of the pierogi lasagna sitting in my tummy three days later, but something, at any rate, made me crave a light treat with no guilt involved.

Naturally, fruit salad was the answer. Of course, fruit salad is just whatever fruit you want in there, but I have special preferences. For one thing, I hate cantaloupe, it’s filler and that’s a fact. On the other hand, honeydew melon is pretty yummy and serves the same purpose. Citrus fruits don’t fare well, blueberries are too small (and expensive 90% of the year), grapes dominate your palate when they explode in your mouth, and apples are too crunchy.

So what fruits are appropriate? I’M GLAD YOU ASKED, HERE LET ME SHOW YOU.

Before.

Since the honeydew is filler, we’ll start there. I totally love using an ice cream scoop on these, it’s so satisfying somehow.

Ice cream scoop.

Now slice up some kiwis. They have a totally cool aesthetic.

Kiwis!

Now pair your green fruits.

The greens.

And for the special ingredient? I throw some frozen raspberries in there. They’re awesome because when they melt they coat the honeydew in a tart envelope of juicy deliciousness, and they go a lot further than fresh raspberries, which fall apart anyway. Since I’m already making this out-of-season, I have no regrets doing this.

Frozen raspberries.

Strawberries are also show-stoppingly beautiful. *Rowr*

Sliced strawberries.

You may have been wondering what the lemon was doing kicking around up there in the first shot. All like “Oh hey guys, having a salad? Mind if I crash it? Yeah, I’ll just be right here if you wanna talk or something. Cool.” In addition to preventing that brown crud on apples from forming (hello oxidation!) it also keeps your salad a little bit longer, and since we’re going for something tart anyway, it certainly can’t hurt. But even if you opt for a sweeter blend of things, you won’t notice the juice in there, promise.

Layers.

Isn’t that so pretty? Now fuck it all up with a good sound stir. I like to give the fruit some time to chill in the fridge to allow the raspberries to do their thing and the other fruit to do a little mingling (yes, you too, lemon). This has the unfortunate side effect of making my final shot way uglier than any of the previous. So save your inferior fruit salads for company, this is the one you can go home to, like an ugly wife.

As for the bananas, don’t mix them in with the other fruits. Just, don’t. They get gross and mushy and don’t store the same way as the other fruits. But right before you dig in, throw a few slices on there. It brings the whole thing together.

After.

Tart Fruit Salad now with raspberries!

1 honeydew melon
4 large kiwi fruit
about 6 oz frozen raspberries
1 lb strawberries
juice of one lemon (2-3 tbsp)
4 bananas

Slice all fruit but the bananas, toss them in a large bowl with the frozen raspberries and lemon juice. Chill 1 hour. Before serving, give it another stir and add sliced bananas to the top.

Eat with the confidence you gain from knowing it won’t go to your hips.